I can't breathe

Cars come with bleeder valves, so why don't we?  I guess theoretically we do and they're called tear ducts..

That's not exactly why I'm referring to though.  I'm more referring to an exhaust pipe.  And I'm not referring to needing to fart either.  I just need to vent.  I have so much built up inside and I feel like if someone poked me with a needle from any angle I would explode.  

Stress from work has got me angry almost every single day and some days it depresses me.  I love[d] my job... up until recent changes and now I'm not really a fan of my new supervisor.  Everything is nitpicked.  I feel like everything I do is wrong.  Walking in the door makes me sick to my stomach.  Thinking about coming in on Monday morning leaves me overcome with a dreadful feeling on Sunday afternoons.

For the past month I've been dealing with thyroid issues. They sent me for an ultrasound and found some nodules; mostly fluid filled but some solid. They then sent me for an iodine uptake scan to see if my thyroid was functioning properly... which it was. They did a thyroid scan and blood work which raised some red flags with elevated white blood cells, so they sent me to the endocrinologist. The endocrinologist came to the conclusion after seeing the blood work that she felt the only way she would be able to give me a solid answer would be to do a biopsy of the nodule.

During the biopsy, on the 4th stick, she said that it looked highly likely that it was cancerous but she couldn't say 100% for sure until the results came back but it was very suspicious. So on the 5th and final stick, I managed to have a panic attack and pass out on the bathroom floor of the doctor's office.... We made a follow up appointment for the 16th of April for the results.

Today I'm grateful more than ever to report that the dr has called to report that my results are back and my cells are benign, THANK YOU GOD!

Now.... I'm on anxiety medication and a weight loss medication.  The anxiety medication works great.  I drink wine probably 2-3 glasses a day.  I had no problems with this amount with the anxiety medication.  Once I added the weight loss medication to the mixture, even without the wine, I am all of a sudden an emotional roller coaster.  I constantly am depressed and cry at the drop of anything.  I'm even sad right now.

I'm sad so much.

*sigh*... anyway. I must go for now..