SAD

SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is a type of winter depression people every winter between September and April, in particular during December, January and February.

It is caused by a biochemical imbalance in the hypothalamus due to the shortening of daylight hours and the lack of sunlight in winter.

For many people SAD is a seriously disabling illness, preventing them from functioning normally without continuous medical treatment.For others, it is a mild but debilitating condition causing discomfort but not severe suffering.

While some people already don't understand general depression, SAD is just another form that is out there.  What sucks about it is that there really is nothing you can do for it.  Sure you can sit in front of lights and do light therapy for hours of the day.  Other than that though, it's horrible.

Why am I writing about this today?  I woke up to an overcast 67* day today.  It was breezy and cool. A typical fall morning.  As the day drug on, it got colder and more gloomy.  I missed my boyfriend more than usual.  It's 5 pm now and I feel awful.  My body hurts, I'm feeling dreary. I just want to cry.  Why? Well, I'm not exactly sure.  No, I'm not saying I have SAD or anything of that sort, but it is possible.  It's the start of these gloomy days.  I LOVE fall, don't get me wrong, but every year, I experience these feelings of gloom  along with the love I experience for the season.

When I was in 8th grade, I struggled.  It's a genetic thing for me.. my aunt had bipolar, as did my grandmother.  My cousins also have it.  It's effected my family in all sorts of negative ways.  3 of my cousins, all my aunt's children, all tried to kill themselves.  My aunt tried several times before succeeding... and by succeeding, I don't mean it in a good way... 

With my issues, I decided to take the career path of becoming a psychologist.  I was going to go to medical school and all.  Life, of course, got in the way of me pursuing that along with the personal will to sit in class for another 6 years or so.  Eventually, I will get my masters, but as far as medical school goes, I just don't see myself doing that.  I also don't think I have the concern level I should have to be someone's counselor.  I don't feel that "grow a pair and stop being such a pussy" is something that someone with depression wants to hear.  I just don't really care to hear about someone else's problems at this point.  I have experienced enough of my own to have enough emotion to care about someone else.  I'm not saying I'm cold-hearted and don't have the ability to care about people, please don't take it that way.. I care about people very deeply, I just guess I'm picky about the things I care about, as wrong as that sounds.